Wednesday Freebie: the “shit I said somewhere else” edition

Hey, folks. I’ve got a bunch of irons in the fire right now and it hasn’t left a lot bandwidth for blog stuff in the last week. But I do have some super amazingly awesome stuff coming up that I cannot wait to be able to talk about! And I will totally blog about it when it happens!

In the mean time, however, I’ll just drop in and share some stuff that I’ve said elsewhere. I do promise that I will do my best to get something substantial up by the end of the week, so thanks for your patience.

PSA Time: Calling women scary is not a compliment

[I’m quoting myself from Twitter here]

I am tired of being called scary because I express opinions unequivocally and am capable of advocating for myself. I have had people legit try to gaslight me into thinking I am a toxic ragemonster because I don’t apologize for having opinions. (Which is hilarious, because if anything in meatspace I am pathologically avoidant to the point of self-harm.)

So the jokey “remind me not to make you mad” stuff? I hate it. HATE. IT. Because it makes it HARDER for me to speak out, not easier. Every time I advocate for myself, I have to make it funny or self-deprecating, because I don’t want to tip over to being scary. It’s exhausting.

Mostly it comes from dudes who are well-intentioned and think they’re being complimentary. But they need to be aware that abusers do this too. So tl;dr – unless a woman is, like, threatening you with a knife just don’t call her scary, even if you think it’s a compliment. Just don’t.

Games I don’t want to write so shut up brain I mean it

Talking about baking patriarchy explicitly into a game gave me an idea to turn that on its head by doing the following:

Set the game in an explicitly matriarchal society. The game takes the form of a US Senate hearing on reproductive freedom for men. The Senators are all female, or all female and one man who has made the devil’s bargain and explicitly sides with matriarchy.

The men have to argue for their right to bodily autonomy, and all the while the female Senators are doing things like (wo)mansplaining, interrupting, and derailing. Particularly, they should be sure to tell the men not to get angry whenever they show hints of emotion, because we all know how testosterone prevents men from thinking rationally, etc etc.

I don’t want to write this game, but my brain keeps ambushing me. Stupid brain.

2 thoughts on “Wednesday Freebie: the “shit I said somewhere else” edition

  1. Oh yes, I understand how you feel. I’ve gotten various versions of the “scary” accusation throughout my life:

    “You’re ex-military? You must be extra tough!”

    “You have a black belt in Tae Kwon Do? Don’t hurt me!”

    “You’re awfully opinionated and outspoken for a girl. I wouldn’t want to see you angry!”


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