A bit of followup silliness

In my previous post, I complained about the new Civilization board game and how it sexualized the female leaders and not the male leaders. This prompted Scott (a commenter) to make the following observation:

One bizzare sidenote, Catherine the Great’s cleavage stops midway up her chest. It looks really weird, like her breasts are somehow fused together. Does the artist even know what breasts look like? Just another example of the absurdity. Probably more a result of lazy artists than anything.

Also, if they had drawn Lincoln thrusting his junk out, I would buy this game today. If we’re gonna have ridiculous sexualized depictions, let’s make it equal and have some fun with it!

And dammit. I could not get the vision of a junk-thrusting Abraham Lincoln out of my head. I mentioned this to my husband, who elevated the concept to a new level of terrifying by suggesting that he cover his junk suggestively with his stovepipe hat – with no pants of course. And then I really had to draw it.

So I suppose you can blame Scott for this monstrosity:

I’m so sorry. I had no choice. NO CHOICE AT ALL.

To the folks at Fantasy Flight Games, I have designed this specifically for the next edition of the Civilization board game. You may use it royalty free. You’re welcome.

39 thoughts on “A bit of followup silliness

      • Hell with that. Everyone knows that the sexiest dudes have a healthy carpet o’ chest hair. Ideally trimmed in a nice diamond pattern or some such.

        • Heh, well, there obviously isn’t really one ideal for guys.

          I was mostly just referring to the way that, most of the time, when an attractive guy’s being used to market something, he usually isn’t shown with body hair. You have the Old Spice Guy, the Abercrombie and Fitch guys, the majority of guys on romance novel covers, the “Bishonen Jump” effect in Japanese media, etc.

          (To be honest, I was just having a bit of fun after running into the “sex sells” argument being used to explain why Final Fantasy characters never have body hair 😉 )

  1. I can’t help but think of those letters between Lincoln and Josh Speed sharing a bed and embracing in a totally different light.

    It’s pretty telling that when we think of sexualized male depictions, we think ‘gay’. All sexuality is for male consumption.

    Still, many laughs!

      • Perhaps you should leverage your Internet fame into a line of sexy presidents greeting cards. I like the implications of the well-placed hat (you know his stage name would be Stovepipe). American history is full of hats and who knows what delights await behind the tricorn, the bowler, the jaunty forage cap? Bonus: No sexy presidents after 1960.

    • Also wundergeek you should send this to Jim Sterling and ask him what he thinks about the whole sex sells thing.

  2. I think with this one picture, you prove your point far better than a thousand words of ranting/ arguing in the comments/ correcting picture.

    But I still like the ranting/arguing/picture corrections ect, so don’t take that as a complaint against those. I just think (and the commenter above me seem to agree), that if someone uses the “sex sells” argument, link to this picture and say “Then this should sell millions!”

  3. The next Civ game needs to have like, unlockable pictures like these for all of the leaders.

    ALL. Of the leaders.

  4. If Lincoln is going to pose like a super-model, he should have his hands behind his head – he doesn’t need them to hold up the hat. 😉

  5. To anybody who reads this blog and plays or has a profile in the league of legends game: they are doing a new champion: a nine tails fox and they showed the art and the idea in the news section recently (this is the link for the nordic and east site: http://eune.leagueoflegends.com/news/special-champion-sneak-peek-nine-tails-fox ) and in it at the end they wrote: ,,She’s very early in development, so as always her abilities and artwork are subject to change, but we hope you’re as excited about her as we are!” . The abilities are not yet clearly defined but she is an ap and the reason I am putting this here is because they said the artwork could be changed and right now her artwork is this: http://riot-web-static.s3.amazonaws.com/images/news/Sept%202011%20Temp/Ninetailsfoxlady.jpg . So please to all of you league of legends players out there go to your LoL web-pages and ask for a change in artwork in the comments section of this news article.

    • Oh and wundergeek if you have an idea for a better piece of artwork for this champion you can use your brothers account (if he still has it) to post/send it to Riot games as that would be an active approach to their news post (they said that the artwork was subject to change and I can not draw so I am making this post here as part of my attempt to get the artwork changed) so that you at least tried to stop them from making another how-are-your-breasts-still-in-that-outfit heroine and showing them that there are better methods.

      Disclaimer: I am not part of the Riot games staff, nor have I ever worked for them, I am just a player of their games looking for a way to get their artwork to a higher standard.

  6. OH MY. I just laughed SO HARD, and scared one of my cats! XD That is AMAZING. I want to tattoo it on my leg! Or, have it on a T Shirt (less expensive)! If you made them (in black, pls! :P) I would buy! Sexy Abe, yyyeah!

    AGH! Still laughing.

    • I’m actually a little disturbed by how interested people are in sexy Abe merch. But give me a day or two to look at options and I’ll have something about that here.

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